so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is the high leading the old right now
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
