is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
