Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize