Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
there is puke in my bra ... again
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