The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize