She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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