my mouth tastes like poor choices
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
