My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
