Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
