Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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