we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
