Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
