While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
