how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
