I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
zippers are such a cool invention
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
