Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
