wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
