hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Your penis caused this!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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