doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
