ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
