We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
