I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
