Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
