I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
