Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
