Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Actions speak louder than pants.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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