whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
