he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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