Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize