The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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