So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
