i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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