i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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