would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
