How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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