Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
