No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
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Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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