watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We have started to decorate penises.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.