i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
