im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize