That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize