I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize