Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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