We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel like death gave me a hand job
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
