Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
