if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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