My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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