she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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