i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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