I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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