so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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