So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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