She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
