At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
