Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
