Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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